Your face is a fruitcake!

You Are a Fruitcake

People pretend you're sweet and precious, but they know how weird you really are!

What Holiday Food Are You?

Just how much of a danger are amphibians to our nation?

I totally want to read Frog's blog!

But now I have to work!

Thoroughly enjoy able weekend at Camp Judy Layne, glad I got to go back.

The spacebar on my new keyboard sucks like a sucking thing from Suckville, after a full glass of suckfruit juice.

Hurrah!

I have moved to Box Land! My old apartment is almost empty, and my new place is full of boxes. Full boxes, empty boxes. Boxes that are labeled, boxes that are not. There are crayons in my kitchen, and there's a spice rack in my living room. I have to wash one last load of dishes and pack up the junk from under my old bed, and then all that will be left to do is clean the place up. Yay! Oh, no, I still have to pack up my refrigerator. Ugh. At the very least the freezer is full. Suddenly, all is not right with the world. Oh, well. At least I had a fleeting moment of happiness.

It's official.

Today I officially became an old lady. I found myself putting a tissue inside the sleeve of the sweater I was wearing to protect myself from the chill in the air. I hope I can find plenty of boy scouts to help me cross the street.

So sore.

First of all, why exactly is the custodian at work dusting after she vacuumed? Secondly, I do not recommend taking a break from ice skating to arm wrestle. That really is just stupid.

Busy extended week!

Annie on Saturday was great, except for the small kicking thing conveniently sat behind me. It played with my hair a couple of times too. I love children, and most of the children there were sooooo well behaved, but this one kept crying out "HEY, ANNIE" trying to get her to look at her.

I saw Death at a Funeral last night and laughed lots and lots. Somebody (I won't name any names) else seemed to enjoy himself quite a bit as well. I think I remember the words "Well, that was worth it" (I should hope it was worth the free admittance, courtesy of leftover gift certificates from work). Late night out for food after and had to watch a movie when I got home. Zach Braff's head looks really big when his hair isn't all poofy.

Gallery Hop tonight, Princess Bride at midnight, and ice skating tomorrow...
Wish me luck and lots of energy.

So excited, but...

Okay, love the idea of going to the theater, but, cor blimey, it's lots of trouble. Annie is two nights off and I don't know what I'm going to wear! Grrrr, double grrrr, and arghhh.

Paranoia has set in.

I am suddenly very worried about accidentally emailing my address book instead of just the one person I intend to email. How crazy am I going!?

Change hurts.

Ow. My head hurts. Somebody at work told me that my new short hair should reduce the achiness in my general headly area, but the pain argues with that. Ow. Dirty SW for making me cut my hair. Grrr. And arghh.

Anyway, lots of shopping and so little to show for it. I hate the mall. But yay for my friends making me try on a skirt. Thanks for making me break out of my mold a little. I think my mold is a little moldy, but apparently you already knew that. Maybe you're not the best friends after all. Hmph.

Change is my foot's middle name!

In an effort to train myself to keep this thing up to date, I am going to have to take it in a slightly different direction than I had originally intended. I will attempt to come by on a nearly daily basis with ridiculous ramblings nobody really wants to hear. Enjoy.

Oh, yeah, this thing.

Apparently we're blogging again. Everyone's been taking a break. At least A Librarian's Guide to Etiquette and have maura, the librarian been. Me, too, of course, but when do I ever actually update.

Vegan Cupcakes Take Over My Life

I've been working my way through Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World for the past couple of weeks now, and I am having a blast. Okay, I haven't gotten past the second recipe, but it's a fun cookbook--it would just be more fun if I lived closer to a healthier grocery store. Not having easy access to non-hydrogenated margarines and shortenings, agave nectar, or even plain vanilla soy yogurt (the local supermarket does have fruit-flavored soy yogurts) has made it difficult to move on to cupcake number three or to frost the ones I have made--luckily I'm not the only one I know who actually prefers cake without frosting. I'm just taking my sweet time working through the variations on the basic vanilla and chocolate cupcakes until I can make it out to the co-op or the big chain natural foods store.

The first Golden Vanillas I made were minis, and they were lovely little pillows of tasty goodness. The Basic Chocolates I made full-size, and they were indubitably the best chocolate cupcakes ever made (I am totally tooting the recipe's horn and not my own here).

It was on the night I decided to enhance the color of the cupcakes by adding in some turmeric that a rogue cousin showed up on my doorstep ready to whisk me away to an aunt's house that I found out just what happens when you don't pop those babies into the oven right away. I knew it wasn't a good idea, but I just couldn't face throwing the cupcakes-to-be into the trash. Since there was no time to wait for them to bake, we jumped into the car with cupcake batter already in the paper-lined muffin pan in tow. They probably ended up waiting fifteen or twenty minutes with the commute and preheating time, and by the time they went in the oven it was starting to look like the oil was separating from the rest of the batter. They were, at least, edible, if more than a little crumbly and mostly sticking to their papers (that one could be blamed on the lack of patience necessary to wait for a cool cupcake). They were too crunchy (crunchy at all is too crunchy for a cupcake), but my aunt apparently likes her cupcakes a little crunchy around the edges, completely flat, and a little more tan than golden. Next time, cupcake waits for no man!

Baking is a science, my foot!

I have always enjoyed baking because the recipes tell you exactly what to do. If you're careful to follow the instructions as written and not make your own interpretations of what you think they might mean, if you don't make unsubstitutable substitutions or make the mistake of stirring when you were supposed to whip, it always comes out like it is supposed to. My first souffle never hinted at falling, and ever since I got my stand mixer my meringues and lady fingers have never failed me.

Then I tasted the Co-op's Morning Glory muffins. Dark and flat, filled with innumerable fruits, this looked like something anybody could make. Of course, I didn't have a recipe. I didn't have someone else holding my hand as I measured out the flour and the sugar, nobody to tell me how many eggs. I knew I had made fruit breads that had come out with a similar texture (I am now remembering that it's oil that does it), but I couldn't remember which ones and where I had those recipes--I am just that organized--so I just decided to use whatever I had on hand that might come together to make a muffin. I figured that the worst that could happen was that they would come out like the co-op muffins (really, who sells a flat-topped muffin).

My muffin project just happened to come along at a time when I was also trying to clear some cabinet space, and taking up space in that cabinet were a can each of sweet potatoes and sweetened condensed milk (I was also faced with a impractically stocked refrigerator that was somehow very full and yet empty of milk). I drained and mashed the sweet potatoes and mixed in most of the can of sweetened condensed milk. I chopped up some dried figs and crystallized ginger, mixed in some raisins, and stirred in some chopped walnuts and pecans. I poured these into the milk mixture as I chopped them and spiced that mixture with some freshly ground green cardamom, allspice, and cloves. I grated in some nutmeg and may have sprinkled in cinnamon. A bit of salt and some molasses had gone into that mixture by this point as well. I mixed in two eggs then just dumped in what looked like a decent enough amount of flour. I sprinkled a heaping teaspoon of baking powder onto the flour and stirred it into flour before mixing the flour down into the wet mixture. It looked like muffin batter, so I poured it into mini muffin pans with paper liners and baked them up for about ten to twelve minutes. In the ultimate throw-caution-to-the-wind baking, I never really looked at the temperature of the oven--I just turned the knob until it felt like it had gone as far as it usually does (I think I caught a peek of the oven thermometer and saw that it was close to 375).

They ended up with as much pale muffin top as slightly crispy, dark muffin bottom. I only wish I had mixed them atop my scale and taken notes of the increasing weight along the way so I knew exactly how much of everything I used. I guess I don't deserve to recreate them.

Old becomes new again.

My ugly, scratchy, too broad scarf is having a lovely time becoming coffee sleeves. As the hop off the needles night after night, they proceed to join their pals nipping at my ankles telling me to get them up on etsy. I'm not convinced, though. Perhaps I just want to keep them all for myself. Afterall, who knows if my coffee will be content to be covered with the same color day after day, and I don't want to upset me--it might decide to upset my stomach.

Oh, poo.

Our very own Mrs. Preggers went into labor today. Almost two weeks early, and, most importantly, before I could bestow upon her my gift for her dear little Cletus (now very nearly a baby). Luckily, Mr. Preggers, esq. (I'm going to have to start calling them something else) works here, too, so I can pass it on to him. But can I trust him with the washing instructions? Hmmm.....

It started with a sweater. I knew as soon as I heard about the pea in her pod that I wanted to make him the Child's Placket-Neck Pullover in Joell Hoverson's Last-Minute Knitted Gifts, and I did (I've had it ready for months). I used a burnt orange Alpaca/Silk blend, and I'm pretty pleased with the way it turned out.

When I thought I had lucked into a batch of the perfect denim yarn for the Baby's Denim Drawstring Pants (I think it's been more of a curse) I decided to knit those, too. When I found out that it was too thick to follow the pattern as written, I carefully adapted it so the finished piece would match the measurements on the diagram. All was well until I measured it after removing it from the dryer...it had hardly shrunken at all! I was planning on telling Mrs. Preggers to give it another wash in hot water to shrink it down some more. I'm still crossing my fingers.

I had a bit of yarn left over after finishing the pants, so I added a hammer loop. Of course I had to make a little hammer to go in it. Yay to me for having both brown and grey wool, and boo to the yarn for not shrinking enough in felting for it to be more than just slightly smaller than the baby's leg will probably be.

At least I can chalk it all up to experience.

Today is NOT Thursday!

I keep looking at the wrong schedules to locate my coworkers. Why can't I get it through my thick skull that today is Wednesday? I'm gonna have to blame it on the holiday. Don't tell anyone that that means I should be thinking it's Tuesday. Then I might seem crazy. Something is wrong, anyway. Everybody that passed through our workroom today noticed the strong odor of the additive in natural, but I could smell nothing. I just had to take their word for it and open the doors to ventilate the area.

Why we craft

When shoes like these are priced out of our budgets, we are forced to be creative. I'm thinking of knitting up some hefty mary-jane slippers and needle felting the design on...it's something for the list of future projects, anyway.

Once again, the world is whole. I think I liked it broken.

I have been looking for my size 6 double-pointed needles for, oh, about three months. At first, I simply wanted to know where they were...trying to slowly gather bits of organization as I could. Then it got desperate. I recently learned that my pregnant co-worker's due date was more than a month earlier than I had been told. Yes, I already had a sweater completed (two ends left to weave in counts as complete when it's been like that for months, right?) and was in the clear as far having a gift was concerned, but then I got some yarn that I thought was right for the coordinating pants. So, needless to say, I had to have those needles. Yesterday. I searched high and low. I looked through my recently created craft drawer in my dresser, through my bookshelves, through my kitchen utensils (I could only search my desk so many times, after all). Finally, sitting on the floor after losing all hope of ever finding them--I had thrown out lots of crap they could have been lost in--there they were, shining like a beacon in all their plastic encased glory, on the floor between my desk and my Christmas decorations. If I ever catch the little pixie that knocked them off my desk, I will definitely have to give him a stern talking to. Oh, and the yarn is thicker than I thought and 100% cotton, so I don't think I can go down a needle size comfortably enough to knit the pants. I'm thinking about putting the needles back where I found them.

Don't do it!

Never try to get a small problem fixed at work. If you break your key off in your lock at your desk when you turn around in your giant-armed chair, don't ask the maintenance man to get it out. Just leave your valuables at home. Should you decide to get it fixed, be prepared for the desk to get locked with your keys inside. It will happen. Then he has to pry the drawer open and cart the whole thing away. Oh, the replacement will be deeper, indeed, but it won't match the desk.

Could you please phrase that in the form of a question?

"Computers where you can type things up, like on the internet..."

Hmmm, are you asking me a question? Do they make computers to which you can attach keyboards? Did you see somebody typing on a video you found on the internet and now you want to try it, too? Maybe you meant to start your "question" with "Where are the" or "Do you have." I'm gonna go with that and send you on your merry way.

Okay, world, with your never ending flow of crafting and food blog entries, you've broken me down. I've resisted the urge to contribute to this wonderful world, knowing that what I have to offer your world of vintage fabrics and hard-to-find extracts is like an ant offering his roomiest sweater to a shivering elephant. I only hope that this, my newest of endeavors, will keep me on my toes, keep my stash from overwhelming me, keep me from admonishing myself for my lack of productivity.

I will find violet extract (I think I may already have...)!